Applying for adoption….

Relax. Of a dog.

Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t been asked for my social security number and a blood sample. They want references (vet, groomer, landlord) to prove that I’m a fit guardian, page-long responses to prompts about experience and commitment to owning a dog, and you’ve gotta sign a contract to get your dog neutered or spayed when you pick it up (this seems reasonable—I don’t find a lot of fault with this, actually). Seriously, folks?

I’m not applying to be in the FBI. I just want an adorable and cuddly canine companion. When did we start needing this much information pet ownership?

Sheesh.