Pickle.

So do you all remember that story I told you about how I got this boy’s number from Urban Outfitters? Here is a recap:

  • cute boy flirts with me when I’m working at Whole Foods
  • I discover cute boy works at Urban Outfitters
  • brilliant best friend makes it possible for me to nab his (Chris) number
  • we text a few flirty texts and then nothing because I was busy and preparing to get a promotion that never happened so we haven’t talked since

Welp. Last night I went out with this cute guy named Josh. We met at this bar in the same mall as WF and UO. On our way out, I run into Chris and his friend (Bridget? I think?). He’s super friendly and smiley and introduces himself to my date. We all part ways, but I’m like blahhhhhh because this is not the first time but the second time this cute UO boy has seen me with another menz. I want to ask him out but I’m afraid he’ll be put off that I’m out and about with other men. Am I a trollop? What do I do? Do I text him again?

Halp?

Thoughts on alone, again

My track record with boys is less than spectacular

I’ve been on more dates than I can remember

I know every coffee shop, not by its menu, by the place I was sitting

when he told me about his honors project, his shitty roommate,

the looming sense of ennui when each of us realized

this isn’t going anywhere

I’ve also been to a lot of boys’ houses, in a lot of their beds,

often for just once before they fade into silent anonymity

“What was his name? …Tim? Ted? Troy?”

What does it even matter? I have all of the names in my phone still

complete with an abbreviated code which reminds me

where or how I met them (boys don’t do last names)

If I could count the number of boys who didn’t return my texts

or told me, “We’re just at different points in our lives”

I’m sure the number would fill up a dance floor

or a coffee shop, actually,

which brings me to my point:

You need to kiss a lot of frogs, and you might not even get your prince

He might be an endearing farmer-turned-tax-lawyer, an

ever-confident businessman, perhaps a knowledgeable library archivist

But until that boy comes along, get used to the idea

Lots of boys don’t have manners

Lots of boys won’t say it to your face

Lots of boys would rather make excuses

Lots of boys don’t do last names

Become used to this idea that we are all playing a game

of hit or miss—when you miss—you move on

And try not to dwell, but

Trust that this boy could be your prince or your farmer or your tax-lawyer

This boy might text you back

This boy might make you fall in love with him

This boy might not come from the same world as boys at all

Maybe he is even standing in the same shoes,

hoping you might be the english-major-turned-wayward-cashier

that will text him back and like the things he likes

Let me tell you now, entertaining the maybes in life

is so much more worth-while than the clammy, hard reality of distrust

5 Tips for Queer Boys By Yosimar Reyes

yosimar:

1. Know that you have been conditioned to hate every fiber of your being through a history that has demonized your spirit but before times like these you were celebrated and honored. Your spirit was seen as something beautifully created by a higher power.

 

2.You will be sexualized as a person and because of it you will be thrown into a scene where hyper sexuality will be something highly promoted so remember to not get lost in all the noise and lights because once the music dies you will be forced to listen to the beat in your heart in absolute darkness.

 

3. Don’t act on insecurities. Oppression will lead you to believe that we are men and because of it predatory and patriarchal sex is something that we embody. This is False. Violence comes in many forms and often times we are the perpetuators of our own demise.

 

4.Shit is bigger then sex and sexuality. You will be forced to examine life through a multi dimensional consciousness and come to an understanding that you are an intersection of things, a complex being that embodies many struggles beyond borders and gay marriage.

 

5. Find your purpose and know that it is not your duty to educate folks about your being but to stand your ground and command the respect you deserve. After all you are in this earth for a reason and granted a voice to speak your truth. No one can tell you what path to walk because only you see what lies ahead.

 

* In the end love yourself and know that just by doing that you are creating a revolution and writing a new narrative ♥

48 /365 (or boys i fell in love with momentarily pt. 8)

he should be the steam; i’d like to be the milk just this once

he’ll trace lines with his most-trusted thermometer

so he can gauge what i’m capable of before taking

me to fields of flowers or a stoop with the purring cat

i wouldn’t much like to have a moonbeam carved into my white part,

brown exposed, de-luminating what ought to be a shower of sparks

but if he’d let me choose, i’d tell him “draw on me the map of 

the years to come. i want to know when our fights will be so i

can avoid them. i want to memorize the impressions of every mishap

so nothing surprises me when we grow into that lull that often

accompanies the kind of love that’s been steeping too long.

if the foam will accommodate, please include the date, time, and place

we will fall out of love. i’ve noticed that it’s so much easier to begin

to pack my things if i know when the demolition is scheduled.”

35 /365 (or boys i fell in love with momentarily pt. 7)

He made today feel like the first line of every love poem

I wanted to tell him, but instead we stuck to peripherals

He told me about his plans and

I imagined what it would feel like

to have that dusty, sun-stained love with him

like we would grow too old to remember

what racing hearts did to us

We would retire the recycled metaphors,

replace our exhausted emotions with

antiquities of the heart

Love is like tea because it has to steep

before it tastes sweet